UNAIR NEWS – Lately, a phenomenon of cutting off all contact without prior notification or better known as ghosting has been trending in social media. This phenomenon is often done by guys towards their partners.
From a psychological perspective, a lecturer at Faculty of Psychology (FPsi) Universitas Airlangga (UNAIR) Ilham Nur Alfian, M.Psi., said that the phenomenon of ghosting is a common phenomenon during communication process in a relationship.
For him, this phenomenon existed even before the existence of social media communication patterns. The development of information technology has a major influence on social media models and the phenomenon of ghosting, especially in a pandemic situation.
“So there is a situation when a person cuts ties or communication for several reasons. One of the reasons could be from that they no longer feel comfortable communicating or building relationships with their partners,” said the lecturer who has expertise in community assessment and social analysis, on Friday, March 12, 2021.
A pandemic situation, he continued, has its own influence on communication patterns. Ghosting problems may happen in this situation because people feel nothing varies in the interaction process, if it is not done face-to-face.
Ilham stated that ghosting victims would actually adapt better in this situation. However, people should be aware of its consequence; if they have been a victim, there could be a desire to become a perpetrator.
“It could happen but not because of trauma. They just want to retaliate. So there is a cycle as they can be a perpetrator, however there is no traumatic element actually,” said the lecturer Faculty of Psychology UNAIR.
In general, the Secretary General of the Indonesian Social Psychology Association (IPS), there is a chance or risk that ghosting victims blame themselves. “Because they must feel what happen to their partner or their relationship were because of them. So, this kind of aspect should be avoided. So the ghosting victims should not blame themselves. Think of it cognitively, this kind of situation is common, which is normal in a relationship, “he added.
The most important thing for a victim of ghosting is to continue to believe that there are people who are better than their previous partner. It can be done by seeking support from family or closest people who have been able to provide support.
Ilham explained that it must be understood that ghosting is a common phenomenon in communication. People must be mentally and cognitively ready during virtual communication, which is included as more fun variant of communication.
“Must be ready for it during virtual interaction models. There must be a chance of tediousness quickly. In the virtual context of communication, the variable to seek new or better (relation, ed) is bigger. There are more attractive aspects in it, “he concluded. (*)
Author: Asthesia Dhea Cantika
Editor : Binti Q. Masruroh
