Pick-me-girl phenomena from a psychological point of view

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Illustration pick me girl (Source: ultimagz online)

UNAIR NEWS – Nowadays, the pick me girl phenomena has beeen trending. Pick me girl is someone’s act, commonly women who tried to attract the opposite sex by saying that they are unlike most women.

Universitas Airlangga (UNAIR) Psychologist Dr Ike Herdiana M Psi Pycholog mentioned that there are some signs that individuals are classified as a pick me girl. First, she will state private conditions that differ from genders’ common characteristics or stereotypes.

Second, she will tend to degrade other women. Lastly, a pick me girl will show attitude, interest, habit or style that is considered different and capable of attracting other gender’s attention.

Universitas Airlangga (UNAIR) Psychologist Dr Ike Herdiana M Psi Psychologist (source: by courtesy)

The necessity to look different and superior

Dr Ike explained that a pick me girl is trying to attract the opposite sex and that she did that to receive respect and other people’s attention. This necessity to look ‘different’ and superior is related to social life.

They commonly desire social life, but in an unhealthy way, by intentionally degrading other women. “This includes the desire to compete to get these necessities,” explained the Group Leader of Gender and Child Studies Faculty of Psychology UNAIR.

Not only affecting women

Although various literature mentioned that shared characteristic of pick me girl shown by women, not excluding men. Similar to pick me girl, pick me boy is when men are against the stereotypical condition to be seen as different and cooler by their social environment.

“Although there is no specific explanation of differences in terms of gender, because both men and women have equally strong gender stereotypes,” Dr Ike said.

Encouraged by misogynistic behavior

Dr Ike mentioned that the pick me girl characteristic appeared because of internalized misogyny. Misogynistic behavior is hatred or dislikes towards women. Therefore, misogynistic behavior in a pick me girl occurred through the desire to avoid the traditional women stereotype that is considered not prominent and tends to be negative.

The Internalized misogyny described that women could also have sexist understanding and hatred towards equal women. This condition is also caused by the self’s need to look unique and different from others.

“The stereotype of women who like putting on makeups, gentle, like to be protected, like to shop, is broken by declaring themselves different from the condition of it all,” she explained.

Counselling is Necessary

Pick me girl behavior will usually create social relationships and surrounding environment unpleasant. This includes unhealthy competitive conditions, insulting elements, and degrading a particular party.

“This condition is obviously unpleasant for building a healthy social relationship. Naturally, someone will leave such relationship,” she said.

Therefore, Dr Ike emphasized that a pick me girl will need counselling in various situations. Especially when issues keep happening, the individual will be obsessed to degrade and insult others.

“They will be more unrealistic with their behavior. This will make individuals unable to control their emotion so psychological discomfort will occur,” she added.

Therefore, if the pick me girl behavior can harm others and themselves, Dr Ike appealed that they should seek professional help. (*)

Author: Intang Arifia

Editor: Feri Fenoria

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